MY VISIT TO THE 9/11 MEMORIAL MUSEUM

In May of 2014 I was blessed with  the opportunity to visit the 9/11 memorial and museum and I had an amazing time at that sacred place. I found it easy to reflect. It is a somber feeling. The water that falls from the memorial pools where the North and South towers once stood make the site very peaceful. They did a great job with the design and construction of the entire area. You would not be able to tell the devastation that happened there almost 13 years ago. It is a crazy thought to realize that both towers were in those exact spots. The museum is a totally different feel from the memorial. The museum is much more sad and graphic. There are many artifacts and it will take you hours to see all of them. I probably spent 5 hours in there and feel like I could use another 8 hours to see it all. The museum is huge. It will be a place that many visitors who go there won't be able to handle certain parts of the site.  There are many recordings/ phone calls they play while you are walking through that can make you become emotional. Some of the artifacts are very hard to look at as well.  There is a "Jumpers" section where there are quotes posted from eyewitnesses to the events unfolding that morning. They also have pictures of jumpers. That's tough to see; I didn't stay there long.

The museum is such a special sacred place to be, knowing what happened there and how many people died- knowing you are standing in places where people jumped to their final breath, knowing hundreds died in the collapse of the towers right there is powerful. Its sad, but its an honor to be there, I was so proud to be there paying respects to the heroes and victims and also saluting the survivors of that day.  I had waited so long to be there, it was like a dream. 

Meeting  Mr. Joe Daniels and Lee Lelpi was amazing. I cannot put into words how awesome that was. I have so much respect and admiration for Lee. It was incredible to meet him, shake hands with him and hug him and be able to tell him how strong of a person he is. It was an honor to be there with him. He is so loving of life and such a strong respectable man. You can feel it when you meet him. I also had the pleasure of meeting the 9/11 Memorial President,  Mr. Joe Daniels, after the ceremony that day he came up to me and actually recognized me and thanked me for coming. That was absolutely nuts! Totally surprised me, but felt amazing. Its still hard to believe I met both of these men and went to the memorial, toured the museum . After so many years of wanting to visit New York, and watching countless hours of 9/11 coverage, reading book after book about it to actually be there in person was a powerful, powerful feeling.

Unite - Trayvon Martin

I  see maddness in this world as I pray for the country a kid cant walk down the  street without bein harassed Trayvon Martin may you rest in peace, no cease to  the corrupt system in place in America God forgive me while I throw a middle  finger to the jaded police/ karma will come one day or another justice will  prevail whether in this life or the next I place my faith in that, the whole  situation tainted prayin for his family  parents just lost a son 17 years into  his life we got to stand up for whats  right its not just about  hispanic or  white and black/ 2012  we teachin society its ok to kill blatantly  walkin away  free with murder it hurts to read the facts - it coulda been any of us- our  sons, nephews or friend puttin into perspective does it hit home hard, racial  scars still hauntin this  nation -tension around God loves us all the same why  cant we be equal I seek to paint this picture of peace and justice all braught  on by this tragedy so pardon/ the ignorance of the indivuals in question I put  anger aside thinkin about the bigger picture gettin the truth justice for  Trayvon Martin seein an end to out those who arent held accountable stoppin the  proceedings its crazy the intensity this crime started, sparkin debates coast to  coast along the way uniting millions because its right I see people from all  races holdin hands in his memory marchin in his name standing up for equality  its hittin the heart/ and souls of many its always sad when innocent life is  taken- this incident got the attention of entire nation, debatin good vs bad  right vs wrong I hope Trayvons death will make us stronger fixing a system  flawed to the fullest- we got to take action while bein patient awaitin/  progression within the case but on a larger scale unity across our country-  somethin terrible happened I pray good will rise in time, I had to say whats on  my mind in my heart this world is lost seekin direction prayin for the  family and those fightin evil within Lord dont let it happen again another  senselesee crime- no hidin how I feel the reason I wrote this rhyme/I see an  ugly world but talks with the Lord tell me be strong let hate escape from your  heart we all should practice kindness, rallying around this during a time of  frustration let hope prevail good defeat evil even if it takes a while -askin  where to start if you look within yourself thats where you'll find it/

Forgiving myself

I been told life's all about living and learning making mistakes growing from poor decisions made slayed myself from situations placed due to my mistakes raising frustration in my head non stop  Im hearing voices, cursin myself " why you caught slipping you"ll deal with this forever everyday accountability I hold myself - having to learn to live with my choices in a forgiveness state of mind I'm hoisting/ prayer talking to The Lord guide me through these moments Im fighting off anger the disappointment within- he forgives knowing I must so too- the view looking in the mirror I'm seeing I'm no better then the next maken mistakes like we all do so why am I harder on myself then most- within I have expectations I always dreaded being in this situation worst one possible, often view  ways to deal with it - thankful For patience wishing for a  lesser conscience of guilt - I'm allowed mistakes too no problem admitting them just hard to get over them it's life though passing obstacles/ growing, learning becoming a man your judged when backs against the wall under pressure how will you conduct yourself that's what they awaiting to see, the toughest lessons in life mold you the strongest accepting responsibility for foolish decisions the ground works been set steps to growth awaiting me/  my conscience buzzing disappointment working through it -though it's on my shoulders to carry, telling myself God never gives me more then I can handle using my faith in him so when trials are brought on with trust in him I  bury/ the axe I"ll feel some type of way about myself but shake it off and overcome becoming the man the dad, the son the friend I'm determined to be a better wiser seasoned individual In the end is what I'm yearning to see/ this been on my mind lately I had to release this off my chest my pen conducting sermon on what's clouding my heart, living with mistakes becoming a more  rounded man it's the way life goes so passing this lesson I'm bound to start/ 

Passion

What drives your passion to leave your mark in this world- I often wonder how I'll be viewed when my times done what impact will I leave from my time on this earth, my inspiration comes from those  who braved Americas toughest day risking life's to save others - passengers on planes stepping up being the front line for the country so much chaos in the air I think about there brave sacrifice everyday so I write with a purpose/keeping there memory alive Also those in military who died fighting for freedom battling til there last breath I salute you the impact you had on my life weighs heavy, let me have the pedestal to share your story so it never dies I strive to have impacts on others the day they have impacted me the core of my heart pumps with that desire I confess and believe/ I will - the way I live each day others taken notice seeing how you handle pressure situations to tempt you - how you deal when you getting short end- ignorant odds aren't in your corner they watching, soften a stance lord give me the strength when I'm weak is when the evils coming for blood knock out punch they swinging overcoming those days still standing whipping dirt off continue walking - destination path I've got in/situations mad at myself experience tough lessons life hands you it's all how you take and use it to your advantage keep going - I'm not perfect my faults is major God help me tighten up , expressing what lies in my heart the impact to touch lives in the long run even after my songs done  I pray I'm viewed as Beamer, Crowther and Murphy are- in my eyes my thoughts prayers and passions where I left them/ heaven called them  home but on earth I'm  building my own legacy living everyday life help me get closer to you Lord expand my faith to levels leaving all in awe, I fall and call out Gods will be done a lasting imprint I desire by the time I'm done entering eternity my legacy installed/

Today's memo

I'm at a time in my life my thoughts pulling me in different directions which path to walk who to confide into - wanting companionship many nights spent alone, my mind left to roam are the ones in my corner really what's  best for me fighting off negative influences I don't wanna be like them that shit I can't condone/ the throne I'm chasing a place where I'm stable at peace enjoying life  all the blessings in it - when your not there it's easy to deminish everyday living I'm driven to better myself for me and her my Ava its crazy when I tell myself yo your a dad , my pad I  put down thoughts up top caught in between - I'm lost searching direction my destiny  some choices I've made - bad/ living life learning weaving through mistakes where's my purpose -at times feeling like I'm failing money come short stress go high trying to get by get my feet under walking the path asking myself what do you want from life what's your goals what are you doing to achieve them, seeing some dont deserve to move forward with me it hurts leaving em behind but that's life -God knows best even when we don't I ease on working on growth with him - alone so I turn to him- speaking listening reading his word the relationships real the guidance I need to lean on/ can't expect companionship when I'm not right within myself trying to cleanse myself of negativity dead weight and ways not getting me where I need to be, within reach I see what I need to do praying give me strength to progress and grow help me become a better man a better friend a stronger influence to those I cross I believe indeed/ sowing seeds will bring you blessings in time speaking through my heart blessings in rhymes at times poetry's my escape my release when the world buggin and my pen itching to speak , I don't tryin preach just trying reach you to bring you into my world - my struggles my hopes my visions it's here to shine bright I continue to fight weaving through life's obstacles I often view where I come from and where I need to be taken steps forward until my goals in reach/

Life- strength/ patience

So many things in life can bring you down - money, friends, unsure which road to turn Down next, I confess I struggle with these but to The Lord I look to lead, mistook by greed the material things of the world often corrupt it worse we so lost - a society where the simplest things matter minimal speaking on this I took to seed/ souls that need it - often times I'm talking to myself how to lead by example- I spend days in deep thought  viewing those around me - who am I closet to - are they  building me up or bringing me down - negative vibes will kill your spirit, with will I fill  it  struggling  with keeping life long friends whose ways  differ totally from mine- activity I don't condone morals I wouldn't own I don't look down but it's not the type of company I need to be around I'm feeling/ lost alone in my thoughts at times wanting companionship a good friend to chill - make me smile on those days I need to- other days she a reason I smile the one to confide and trust building from friendship to love a blessing from the man above, I'm patient waiting for her until then focusing on self improvement I trust/ the path I need to take to success the journey highs and lows forming the person Iam - being bigger person in situations where the world tells you to strike back I choose to lean on faith for conclusion- these thoughts cross my mind daily, stability purpose in life my inner circle around me is it benefiting or breaking me down - opening my heart up to love where 2 becomes 1 I know my queen is coming - fighting through the fear of unknown I place my circumstances on faith - lord give me strength and patience I pray/

STEP BACK

As I step back and reflect on my thoughts I see this year braught change- sayin goodbye to friends I was once close to, no blues facing trials cuttin losses through it all Im showing growth like Im suppost to/ rose through times where I felt like I wasnt progressing life wasnt moving- a loser when I looked within askin how can I  get that look of confidence again, within I was defeated tellin the Lord I was retreating not believing in myself had to give it up to him to prevail get me out the situation I was in/ prayin  though it seemed like he overlooked me- my faith never faltered though some days I became impatient blatant work of evil pushin me down a route, a path I didnt need to see I need to be workin on growth within  yeah growth in him- spendin more time speakin with him cuttin out the negatives weighin me down I was out/ where else to turn but the man whose never let me down I write this now feeling a change - big thingscomin favor blowing my way, cold  days I prayed when those around me told me God cant do it- I knew I had to help myself- building mentally, spiritually,spreadin the wealth- leading by action and example words only taken you so far I laid/ out goals I wanted to accomplish short term I set the tone 2012 a year I been more alone then ever but I  trust hes workin on me preparing me for the queen I'll marry, here we- go one step at a time- becoming stable more independent, financially set spiritually sound a man of God with a direction in life thats the agenda I carry/