Today's memo

I'm at a time in my life my thoughts pulling me in different directions which path to walk who to confide into - wanting companionship many nights spent alone, my mind left to roam are the ones in my corner really what's  best for me fighting off negative influences I don't wanna be like them that shit I can't condone/ the throne I'm chasing a place where I'm stable at peace enjoying life  all the blessings in it - when your not there it's easy to deminish everyday living I'm driven to better myself for me and her my Ava its crazy when I tell myself yo your a dad , my pad I  put down thoughts up top caught in between - I'm lost searching direction my destiny  some choices I've made - bad/ living life learning weaving through mistakes where's my purpose -at times feeling like I'm failing money come short stress go high trying to get by get my feet under walking the path asking myself what do you want from life what's your goals what are you doing to achieve them, seeing some dont deserve to move forward with me it hurts leaving em behind but that's life -God knows best even when we don't I ease on working on growth with him - alone so I turn to him- speaking listening reading his word the relationships real the guidance I need to lean on/ can't expect companionship when I'm not right within myself trying to cleanse myself of negativity dead weight and ways not getting me where I need to be, within reach I see what I need to do praying give me strength to progress and grow help me become a better man a better friend a stronger influence to those I cross I believe indeed/ sowing seeds will bring you blessings in time speaking through my heart blessings in rhymes at times poetry's my escape my release when the world buggin and my pen itching to speak , I don't tryin preach just trying reach you to bring you into my world - my struggles my hopes my visions it's here to shine bright I continue to fight weaving through life's obstacles I often view where I come from and where I need to be taken steps forward until my goals in reach/