Forgiving myself

I been told life's all about living and learning making mistakes growing from poor decisions made slayed myself from situations placed due to my mistakes raising frustration in my head non stop  Im hearing voices, cursin myself " why you caught slipping you"ll deal with this forever everyday accountability I hold myself - having to learn to live with my choices in a forgiveness state of mind I'm hoisting/ prayer talking to The Lord guide me through these moments Im fighting off anger the disappointment within- he forgives knowing I must so too- the view looking in the mirror I'm seeing I'm no better then the next maken mistakes like we all do so why am I harder on myself then most- within I have expectations I always dreaded being in this situation worst one possible, often view  ways to deal with it - thankful For patience wishing for a  lesser conscience of guilt - I'm allowed mistakes too no problem admitting them just hard to get over them it's life though passing obstacles/ growing, learning becoming a man your judged when backs against the wall under pressure how will you conduct yourself that's what they awaiting to see, the toughest lessons in life mold you the strongest accepting responsibility for foolish decisions the ground works been set steps to growth awaiting me/  my conscience buzzing disappointment working through it -though it's on my shoulders to carry, telling myself God never gives me more then I can handle using my faith in him so when trials are brought on with trust in him I  bury/ the axe I"ll feel some type of way about myself but shake it off and overcome becoming the man the dad, the son the friend I'm determined to be a better wiser seasoned individual In the end is what I'm yearning to see/ this been on my mind lately I had to release this off my chest my pen conducting sermon on what's clouding my heart, living with mistakes becoming a more  rounded man it's the way life goes so passing this lesson I'm bound to start/